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Sandy Man Chronicles : The One with Reese Witherspoon and Venus Flytraps

I woke up to a loud and constant blaring : a gas horn in full blast meant there was something awfully wrong with the train. I was leaning against Callie (Grey’s Anatomy), while Arizona (Grey’s Anatomy) was sleeping on my lap. She was drooling.

“Arizona, get your stuff. We have to go.”, I woke her up.

She stretched like a cat. I didn’t realize she was naked. I looked away but couldn’t look away for long, you know what I mean? It took a while before she got dressed. I had to knock at the baggage cabin to check if she was still there. She emerged at the very last minute, fully clothed. We were the last two people on the train. It started to rain.

I lost her in the rushing crowd. I found her after a while, opened my umbrella and pulled her closer. Only it wasn’t Arizona anymore. It was Reese Witherspoon.

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UFC 159 Recap : Is there anyone who can stop Jon Jones?

Jon Jones made such quick work of pretender Chael Sonnen in their title fight last Sunday that it begs the question: What’s next for Jon Jones?

Jones has a game that doesn’t seem to have any weaknesses. All attributes LVL99. Maxed out. Even in a rich light heavyweight field that includes veterans like Lyoto Machida and Maricio Rua and rising stars like Alexander Gustaffson and Glover Teixeira, everyone looks too average, too one-dimensional and too limited an opponent for Jon Jones.

Well, that only means we’re looking at the wrong place. Pundits have pointed to Daniel Cormier (heavyweight) and Anderson Silva (uhhmmm, only the best ever!) as possible contenders, should they decided to drop down to 205 street. Problem with Cormier is that he is too heavy to make the cut. And, besides, he’d be a challenge for Cain Velasquez in the near future. Style for style, it’s like looking at a mirror.

Which leaves us to the superdupermegaultra dream fight we have all been wanting to see : Jon Jones vs. Anderson Silva. They deserve each other. Silva and Jones are 1 and 2 in the pound-for-pound rankings.  They can both be such jackasses, sometimes. And, there’s no denying their L1+R1 finishing power.

If you’re rooting for this megafight, there is hope. Despite previous statements from both parties that they are absolutely scared of each other and wouldn’t fight, it seems that Anderson Silva called UFC President Dana White for either GSP’s or Jones’s head. Who he picked really truly was never revealed.

Considering Anderson Silva made the call right after Jones-Sonnen, even Rizzoli and Isles can figure out this mystery.

 

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The Locker Room : Fallon Fox, TUF Finale, Donaire’s Loss

Here’s what’s hot in MMA and boxing these days :

Shame on Fallon Fox Shamers

The unwarranted shaming of trans woman MMA fighter Fallon Fox is just too disappointing and too heartbreaking to read about. Active UFC fighter Matt Mitrione lashed out on Fox, calling her ‘a disgusting, sociopathic freak’ on a radio show, while ex-UFC fighter-now-porn-star War Machine warned that any promotion that would sign Fox is a ‘piece of shit’ show.

While the issue with Fallon Fox revolves on a purely scientific and medical issue - does going through puberty as a male and having developed full-blown male features after undergoing gender reassignment give her unfair advantage against other female fighters? -, but it clearly did not stop fighters like Mitrione, War Machine and, to a lesser degree, UFC Women’s Bantamweight champ Ronda Rousey from weighing in on the issue with less than diplomatic, uneducated and rather mean-spirited comments.

Dana White’s response to the Mitrione incident was a tad underwhelming, citing the whole thing to be a ‘headache’ as far as branding and PR is concerned. There was neither commitment to protecting LGBT fighters, nor condemnation of the gravity of Mitrione’s foul mouth.

It was rather good news, then, that Mitrione eventually merited a suspension for his offensive tirade. This also propelled the UFC to draft their own code of conduct, in hopes of avoiding such scenarios in the future.

Fox’s right to fight may be up in the air.

However, her right to being respected as a trans woman is not up for debate.


Zingano and Tate Steal Boys’ Thunder in TUF Finale

Props to Kevin Gastelum for winning the TUF Season 17 trophy against highly regarded finalist Uriah Hall, but we all know Miesha Tate and Cat Zingano stole the show last night.

In a bid for a coaching stint at TUF 18 and a shot at the UFC Women’s Bantamweight title, held by Ronda Rousey, Miesha Tate and Cat Zingano laid it all on the line for three rounds in a highly entertaining and highly technical match-up that literally had me on the edge of my swivel computer chair.

Tate was dominant early, using strong takedowns and following them up with solid submission attempts. She had a strong hold on a leg lock and an armbar at two points in the match, but Zingano had enough presence of mind and counter-jiu jitsu to escape out of both. It was all Miesha until the later stages of the second round, where Zingano found her range and started to pour it on.

And, boy, did she pour it on in the third. After a short scuffle on the ground, Zingano’s striking completely overwhelmed Tate. It was vicious strikes, one after the other. Just as Tate would rise back up from a knee to the face, another one would follow suit and send her back to the ground. To close the barrage, Zingano pushed Tate to the cage, where a series of knees and a final, crushing elbow finally forced the ref to stop the fight.

Zingano’s physical strength, counter-jiujitsu skills and powerful striking all add up as an interesting challenge to Rousey’s belt. Winning is still quite a long shot, considering how dominant Rousey has been, but at least she could expose Rousey’s limitations and push Rousey to be more than a one-trick pony.


Rigondeaux wrests belt from Donaire, still not a winner

Donaire fought badly throughout the fight, activated beast mode too little too late, and lost a unanimous decision to Guillermo Rigondeaux.

Rigondeaux may be a champ, but I still think he’d be a hard sell. His fighting style, however efficient it is, just does not translate to an entertaining fight that fans would tune in to see. Although other counterpunchers like Mayweather and Marquez have been successful at making their style work for them, Rigondeaux is not made of the same fabric. For one, he is not as accurate a counterpuncher as Mayweather. Second, unlike Marquez, he is unwilling to engage and eat punches to be able to fire off a flurry.

For Rigondeaux, a rematch with Donaire would be the most profitable and logical choice. If the rumors are true that Donaire will debut at featherweight after healing from injuries, a rematch will be out of the question and it might be quite a long while before Rigondeaux defends his title to a sellout crowd.

Kitchen Experiments : Strawberry White Chocolate Pancakes

So, in the spirit of the IHOP overpriced pancakes craze, I decided to give my pancakery skills (or lack thereof) a spin and treat my family to a different kind of breakfast.

I realized that, along with frying eggs and deep-frying chicken, I absolutely suck at making pancakes. You wouldn’t know it from the picture above, but my first batch was just awful. Strawberries sticking out of the batter like popped zits. White chocolate melting in the pan. My batter running all over the place.

Disaster.

But, with patience and practice and an extra ¼ cup of flour, I managed to salvage a few decent pancakes from my too-runny, too-smooth batter.

Lesson learned. Keep it lumpy.

Also, keep doing what you love even if you suck at it. Because passion, not talent, makes all the difference.

Prep:

600 g pancake mix

½ cup chopped strawberries

¼ cup white chocolate chips

1 egg

½ cup water

2 tbsp butter (about 1/3 of a stick), melted

Oil

Prep:

1.       Beat eggs in a separate bowl. Add cooled melted butter and water. Mix well.

2.       Add egg mixture, strawberries and chocolate chips to pancake mix. Whisk together until the ingredients are blended together, but batter is slightly lumpy. Do not overmix. If it becomes too runny, add flour until it’s thick and gooey again.

3.       Heat oil in a cast-iron skillet or pan. Pour ¼ - 1/3 cup batter into the pan. Cook for 1 minute.

4.       Once the edges of batter bubble up, flip the pancakes and cook for another minute

5.       Repeat until you run out of batter. Arrange pancakes on a plate, then top with more strawberries and chocolate chips.

Disappearing Act

It was the day the circus came to town.

Now, I never cared about lions jumping through hoops of fire or fat men in rouge pretending to trip over wooden crates. I find the former cruel, the latter bordering on childish. I was, however, enamored with magic. Or, at least, the illusion of it. Sleight of hand, chains of handkerchiefs slithering out of a sleeve, crumpled paper turning into furry animals.

I bought two tickets — they were had at a very steep price, but how often does a circus come to town? — and rode the evening train towards home, where I found my love setting the table for dinner. I kissed her cheek. She smelled of  springtime flowers and, faintly, of musk.

 A new perfume? It suits you, I complimented. She smiled, her cheeks and ears turning pink, and beckoned me to sit down and eat. Between bites, I told her of the circus and how I had been very fond of magic shows as a child. I showed her the tickets, bragged about the ridiculous sum of money I shelled out for it and could barely conceal my giddy excitement. I’d love to go, she said. She looked rather pleased and, if you knew my love, that was a very hard thing to do. I felt proud.

I kissed her goodnight, as I laid my weary body on the bed we share. Her lips tasted of faded lipstick and brandy.  I ran my hands up and down her arms, feeling her soft, warm flesh give in to my hard, calloused fingers. A faint kiss brushes against the back of my hand, my palm resting on her slowly beating chest.  A streak of light from a passing car momentarily illuminated her face, as lovely as the first time I saw her, and I thought I saw her eyes glassy and rimmed with tears. The darkness took over before I could know for sure.

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